aBoUt Me

Let's see...

I am a happy go lucky kind of girl - Willing to try anything once and probably have - I have a wild streak that rears its ugly face more often than I'd like to admit.

I am a perfectionist and have a hard time realizing that everything is not going to be perfect - I struggle with that one daily - I like things done a certain way and will often redo it if I think I can do it better.

I am in love with the simplest things in life. Possibly because I want my life to be as simple as possible and run as smoothly as it can. I have high hopes and even higher expectations. Not only of myself...but of everyone.

I am my toughest critic. I am extremely hard on myself. I am sure people have thought awful, nasty things of me at some point or another but chances are I have thought those same things of myself many many times before...so get in line.

I don't try to be something I'm not, and neither should you. Yes I’m ADD…and OCD. There just aren’t enough words to describe me. And yes I’m Manic…and sometimes depressed. I am at times just one big fucking mess.

I'm a walking contradiction. Everything I say is lost in a massive bipolar rage. I'm everything you anticipate me to be, and nothing you'd expect. I'm nothing short of a thrill ride. I walk railroad tracks like I'm walking the road to failure and success. Life is a game and determination is how you play it out. You live, you lose, you learn.

I'll be your biggest mistake, yet by far your best investment. I give up on things easily, not because I'm weak, but because I'm strong enough to let go. My sanity is nothing but a madness put to good use. I know how to lose and I know how to win. I know how to deceive and I know how to be real. I'm misused and I make mistakes.

I live on lies that come out of your mouth, so I can last two seconds on my knees, because pleading for your forgiveness is what I’m good at...shoving it right back in your face is what I’m best at. I lose my breath when he speaks, and I kill myself every time I let another make me weak. The city lights are my guide into the night...the midnight woods are the only place my footsteps feel right.

I'm my own addiction, I'm the drug that feeds the frenzy. You won’t let me go because I’m nothing you need and everything you can’t control. I'm most likely very different then you think I am, so don't judge me. Getting attached is my weakness. I've been cheated on, lied to and deceived. Trusting people isn't something I'm good at.

Lucky is something I'm most definitely not. I've become accustom to people walking out on me. Call me a hypocrite, but not a liar. I lack both tolerance and patience. I deal with the fact that I've forgotten the worst. I feel that my social behavior may seem somewhat unrehearsed. Another page, get rid of some built-up rage...and I'll be back to my normal self. I drive to the edge of my considerate plain. I apologize to the people I hurt on the way. I wipe the slate clean...I kick the daydream... And I remain independently happy.

"Just don't give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration..I don't think you can go wrong."