2012: The Happy Home Project

Who doesn't want a happy home? A heavenly home? I often come home after being out in the crowded mass of society, walk through the front door and whisper gratefully to myself, "I am in heaven." Currently our home is an imperfect heaven, to be sure. But heaven nonetheless. 


I have dreams and many of them revolve around my home. This is where I spend the majority of my time and it's the foundation that my family is built upon. A cozy home filled with a loving family where  memories are spread about like icing atop a cake. Where candlelight and laughter create the perfect ambiance to set the mood for the soundtrack of our lives. I'm a self-proclaimed professional home-body. 


I'm setting out on a journey to see if I can make some of these dreams come true. My project(s) for 2012 are targeted specifically on the makings of a happy home, where my expertise lies. I will start with an ambitious wish list of home improvements, which I aim to take on in my own home over the course of a year. 


In the process, I plan to explore a wide range of cross-cultural design ideas, take them for a test drive in my own domain and report on the results. I want to step outside of my element and really think outside the "box" to recapture a sense none like my own currently, but something my taste for design thrives for when I am set before such a masterpiece I could not have dreamed up on my own. 


I am certain during the course of the year with so much daily commotion-multiple deliveries, endless appointments, mountains of tools and plaster and floor tiles and cabinet boxes and door handles and curtains and paint cans and debris-filled garbage bags and Lord knows what else- this will also be the time when mistakes are sometimes made, budgets overran, tempers occasionally flared, and-in the quiet moments after the day has settled but before my husband returns home-tears will stroll down my face. I stress and I don't feel this to be any different.


I want this change to not only be about creating a happy home aesthetically; one that is pleasing to the eye; but also be about the change in my life in general-and much of that has seemed to be just beyond the grasp of my control. My home really is a reflection of me and updating and changing it shall reflect the change that I wish to happen within me as well. I want calm, collected, balance, and bright. The same attributes I wish to get more in-depth with in my personal being.


No one ever said life is always serene. Chicken soup is one thing, but a healthy challenge can be good for the soul, too. So frayed nerves and depleted bank accounts aside, I'm looking forward to the opportunity-and receiving the support I need-to take on this project. I wish for the process to enrich my home -and my life- substantially. 


And by sharing some of the lessons to be learned, I hope the ideas contained in the blog may brighten the way for your own happy home endeavors.


Now, let's get started!


Ingredients for a happy home:
Surely there is no one-size-fits-all recipe to a happy home. But after doing lots of research, finding what pleases me and after lots of trials and errors, I've come up with a list of ingredients that I'm convinced contribute to the joy in mine and can equally be implemented to fit the tastes and desires of each of you. I hope you'll try mixing a dash of one here with a dollop of another there, combining them with your personal alchemy to see what effect they have on the happiness of your own home. 


*Access to Nature- Nothing brightens a home like a touch from Mother Nature herself, whether it's a burst of fresh air, a ray of sunshine (I'm not referring to my daughter this time), a view of the lake, or a tiny potted plant. A connection with nature reminds us that we are a part of larger order that has rhythms and energy and laws that reflect and nourish the core within you. 


*Just-right space- More than not-too-big and not-to-small, just-right spaces contain just enough stuff to make them comfortable, functional and visually appealing to you. Just-right rooms are well edited and include only things that have meaning or a purpose. They usually don't happen overnight, but rather evolve slowly over time as to eliminate and add just-the-right details as you go along. 


*Something for everyone- When a home accommodates more than one person, it needs to feel like a home to everyone who lives in it. Allocating nooks and crannies to different forms of personal expression can allow disparate tastes to happily coexist in a patchwork that provides room for all. 


*Personality- If there's one thing that puts a damper on happiness in a home, it's cookie-cutter rooms. Happy rooms show something of the personality of their owners, whether it's a collection of corks (*cough), a gutsy work of art (which I intend to take on), or a handmade throw or a favorite color as an accent. 


*Elements of comfort- To many of us, the word comfort- as it relates to the home-connotes overstuffed chairs, fluffy pillows, and fuzzy throws. But in this context, elements of comfort have more to do with an individual's sense of beauty and the objects and colors and shapes that put him or her at ease in their happy home. 


*Order- An ordered, organized home isn't just about having a place for everything with everything in it's place. It's about all of the elements- and the rituals they support- that ease the flow from dusk to dawn, spring to fall, work to play. It's also eliminating the inconsequential and celebrating the essential. "More of less is always a good thing."


*Private Zones- In his class work "The Poetics of Space", the philosopher Gaston Bachelard argued that the chief role of a home is to serve as a place for daydreaming. Private spaces, whether a room of one's own, a window seat or a corner in a garden, let intimate dreams unfold and imaginations run wild. 


*The element of Surprise- A surprising element in a home can take on all kinds of guises. It might be a whimsical pop of color, a mysterious garden path or a witty work of art- anything that shifts the energy of a space and engages the imagination.


*Carbon-footprint consciousness- An eco-friendly home will not only make you happier because your're being a good global citizen, it'll make you, your family, and the planet healthier. And it can save you money over the long haul, too. 


*A sense of spirit- Spirit in the home is about a connection to something beyond the material things that define and fill it. It might be a feeling of community that occurs in a home that's shared with friends and family. It might be a sacred sensibility symbolized by a fountain, a statue, the children's artwork or other emblem that represents your view of the divine. 




In my next blog, I will share the compiled list of happy home projects I wish to dive into right away at the start of 2012. I've thought long and hard about the things that need more attention in my home and I truly believe and feel deeply that while taking on these tasks, I will be able to get more in tuned with my home, with my heart, and with happiness harmonized all around. 


Happy New Year to you and yours :) 
Stay tuned for more Happy Home...

tIs ChRiStMaS tImE

Christmas is supposed to be the time for peace, love, and goodwill to all. But with all the stress and commotion of the season, many of us end up feeling like Mr Scrooge rather than Santa Claus.


It's easy to lose focus on the real meaning of Christmas and with that being said, it's difficult for our children to understand the real meaning behind it if we don't teach them properly.


I've always been very fond of the Christmas season. Not so much for the presents as I am for the fondness and attitude that seems to come alive in people and spark a certain sense of the season. It's important that we feel it inside of us as well.


Here are some ideas to get you into the Holiday Spirit:


-Shop early. Nothing wipes away the Christmas spirit like fighting for parking spots and struggling through crowds of Scrooges.


-Wish anyone you might meet or in passing a Happy Holiday. Say it with a smile on your face and a spirit behind your voice.


-Drop spare coins in the Salvation Army buckets. Remember that not everyone is as fortunate and even the smallest contribution assists others in a time of need.


-Play Christmas music throughout your home and while driving the kids around town to view Christmas lights around the neighborhood.


-Watch Christmas movies like "A Christmas Carol" or "It's a Wonderful Life"


-Decorate your home for the holidays


-Make Christmas cookies and give them to neighbors and friends


AND


-Don't spend money than you have available on Christmas presents. The anxiety of "after Christmas bills" can ruin your holiday.

May Peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through! 

Romance off the coast of California

It was their very first vacation together. A short weekend trip to San Diego to stay with an old friend of his.It was a complete surprise when he had asked her to arrange everything, set up dates, and he'd take care of the rest of the details. She had never been anywhere of much importance so it meant a great deal to her, probably more than she led on to him. They had only been dating for a few short months so when he asked her out of town, she was more than ecstatic that he was capable of finding more time for her in his life.

Their bags were packed. Everything was completely ready for take-off. They boarded a small jet. Two rows with two seats in each row. They sat towards the front of the plane and immediately ordered drinks upon finding their seats. He a gin and tonic and a bloody mary for her, which later became the norm of any flight boarding process they were to later plan. They posed for photographs taken and wrapped themselves around each other the entire flight, her eyes closed tightly, taking mental pictures, never wanting the feeling to end. They were together and regardless of where they were heading, she was perfectly ok with that.

"Excuse me", she said as she approached the seats, both of them looking up for only a second. It was the flight attendent. She was perky, blonde, and tall with a nice smile. She seemed rather ditzy but very friendly nonetheless and she was more than interested in getting the scoop on them.
"I just have to say that you two are just the cutest thing I ever did see. You two married?"
He immediately replied, "Yes. Just got married. We're heading to our honeymoon."
A huge smile crept up on the flight attendents face, lights in her eyes. He mentioned they were headed to Grand Cayman and he grabbed Ashley by the hand and applied pressure ever so gently to reassure his confidence in the game. Ashley looked out the window, laughing hysterically to herself, not wanting to make a liar of him all the while flattered that marriage was on his mind, jokingly or not. She had always dreamed of being a wife. Being his wife was just more than a dream that she had imagined.
The flight attendent and him continued chatting about travels and of Omaha and hot spots. He gave her advice on where she could go to unwind once it returned there for the night. Ashley stared out the window, casually sipping her drink as she smiled knowing that it would be a great adventure.

It was uncommon, neither is it uncommon now, for them to be approached by strangers who are interested in the story. Their love story. It's like pulling an old romance novel off the shelves of a bookstore and blowing away the dust to reveal the utmost reason for our existence and everyone enjoys a good love story.

They arrived in San Diego, half drunk and completely high on love. They took their luggage to the streets with them on a whirlwind adventure from bar to bar until they were escorted to their place of stay where they settled in for the night.

She remembers walking to Cafe del Mar on the main street, losing her favorite scarf in the meantime, ordering what was posted on the menu as "The Usual" which made her feel like a local and she was completely at ease with that. She fit in here just fine. It was a plain bagel with cream cheese topped with fresh sliced tomato and avocado. She added a touch of salt and pepper to taste. She could have ordered several dozen. It was so simple but nothing in the state where she came from tasted this fresh. They inhaled the salty air being swept on shore from the ocean splashing nearby. They drank and they laughed and mostly, they loved.

Upon meeting two other friends of his, they hopped into an all black BMW and hit the Pacific Coast Highway. They stopped along the way to indulge in sushi; and by indulge I mean order just as much as could possibly be ordered and take a bite from every single prefectly plated portion upon the plates.

When they finally arrived at their destination, it was a Mediterranean joint full of live music, dancing, Ouzo, plates of fantastically massive dishes of food being brought by beautiful women baring their bellies and providing them with hookahs and a never ending supply of Ouzo. They couldn't possibly be expected to eat again after just being fed every known part of any existing sea creature, but it would have been rude not try.

The rest of the trip is fairly fuzzy. There was wrestling in sheets set upon an air mattress in a guest bedroom in the condo on the beach where they were shacked up for the short weekend. There were many many hours of love making and secrets being told and promises being promised. There were mornings of not wanting to leave the bedroom and nights of not wanting to sleep.

The flight home was sad. Neither of them wanted to leave so early, go back to their everyday lives of nothingness and sneaking to spend time together. It was a vicious cycle they battled everyday in the beginning. Torn between the lives they lived and the lives they wanted to live.

Several weeks had past since the trip and the new year had come and gone. He had to leave the country to attend a wedding in Greece where she figured she would settle back to his roots, be heavily influenced by friends and family, and never return to her arms again. They got into their first argument. It was over the phone on minutes being eaten up by calling cards. They were miles apart and hours apart and not being able to have each other there to hold and comfort caused conflict.

Several days later, in her cozy apartment situated in a quaint romantic part of the city, there was a large suitcase occupying the corner of her bedroom. He was home!

::: compiling more and more words :::

She is awoken in the night by the sound of a truck rushing through the street that passes by their house. She rolls out of bed, peers out the frosted window as she wraps the robe and ties it at the waist, covering her silk and lace nightgown that shows just enough to get imaginations to run wild. His imagination is currently nonexistent and he barely noticed her in bed next to him, let alone what she slipped on earlier begging for his attention.

She ever so quietly takes steps towards the doorway, tiptoeing and breathing gently as to not awake anyone else. She takes the steps downstairs, feeling each individual step under her cold feet. The house is dark, cold, and with no one else awake it appears empty.

The coffee pot screeches for a brief second before she pours the boiling water into her cup, being instantly absorbed by the camomile and turning the water a light shade as it dissolves and becomes one. She wraps her hands around the cup feeling the warmth. She leans in and takes a smell, breathing deeply this time. It's the smell of relaxation and she enjoys this thoroughly.

She takes a seat in her favorite room at the front of the house, peering out the large window that faces the street. She is watching cars periodically pass by and wondering where any of them might be going at this time of night. She begins painting pictures in her mind. Are some of them venturing to work? A security guard for a museum, having to go in early, turn on all the lights, make sure everything is in running order for the visitors soon coming? Perhaps some of them are coming from a late night cuddled up on the couch with their lover. The movie they watched ended hours ago but the conversation and holding one another, not wanting to leave lasted far more than any romance they've ever watched. Laughing in the late night, under the moon, holding tightly to one another, whispering sweet words for each other to hear, kissing until the last possible moment before having to head home to prepare for work only a couple hours later.

She closes her eyes briefly and images begin playing in her head like a slideshow cast upon a projection screen. She is enthralled in remembering how her relationship began with him. Always romantic, always with late nights full of "don't leave" and "just stay" knowing that it would only be a few hours until they were together again but also knowing every second without him felt like an eternity.

In the very beginning, they scrambled and juggled to find the time to spend together, and there never seemed to be enough time in any given day. He would leave around four in the morning. They would spend hours rolled up in bed, fooling around to countless minutes never minded, not being able to ever fully satisfy the addiction of each other and the feeling of being skin on skin. He would always leave her and it was a bittersweet moment looking back now. He was obsessed with being with her and she with being with him. They knew that moment of leaving each others side at all wouldn't be possible to last long. They had to be together. It was the drug that kept them alive.

Just as soon as she heard the door close behind him, she'd roll over to tightly grab hold of the pillow next to her that smelled of him. Her phone almost instantaneously ringing on the nightstand next to the bed where she lay barely clothed and feeling saddened at the thought of once again being left to sleep alone. Of course it was him calling. It was her duty to whisper sweet nothings into the receiver so the man on the other end of the line wouldn't fall asleep on his long drive home.

A few short hours of sleep for them both and they would awaken with springs in their steps and flutters in their stride knowing there would be phone calls to answer and secret coffee rendezvous' to arrange just as soon as the sun began to rise. Being tired, rundown, extremely exhausted didn't exist in their world. They counted down seconds while apart until they could be together again. She would happily dance about knowing that they were to be together soon, either enjoying breakfast before heading to the office or escaping the concrete jungles mid-day to get lost in the streets of the city while finding low key place to dive into or duck into dark alleyways to kiss and laugh as time passed.

They would pass each other going opposite directions on the highway each morning. It was a great start to what always seemed to be an amazing day. Both were heading to work, both heading to live a life they pretended day in and day out full of mediocrity. There were fake smiles to friends, small talk and chatter with co-workers, both just watching the minutes dwindle down on their wristwatches, counting down the seconds until it was their time. They'd talk on the phone while driving to work, honk and wave in passing, laughing about how silly they must look to someone that couldn't understand this love. And by someone, it meant everyone. No one could possibly understand this love.

Sometimes just a sweet dessert; rich, decadent and full of romance; just like him and she ate up like the creme brulee he would feed to her from a vintage spoon. There was love behind his eyes and complete infatuation of her in his heart. She felt it burn through her like her body had been lit on fire. Her cheeks burning, her heart melting, her soul completely vulnerable for the man that showed her how to live her life, with love.

She smiled behind her cup of hot tea. As much as she knew they were in a very dark place currently, taking time all alone to sit and reminisce about the period of time of falling in love with each other reminded her of all the many milestones they had to overcome to get into position they were in now, together. She began to feel cozy in her robe and confident in her heart knowing that his down slope would too pass, like so many prior.

They were warriors in that time. Everyone against their relationship, not to mention the odds. They banded together, shields and swords in hand, fighting off any feat that came in their path. Hurting people and burning bridges along the way. They walked the world together, nobody ever siding with them nor agreeing that all the sacrifices and hurdles they had to overcome to be together was worth it in any way. They were tossed an enchanting fairy tale in their "going through the motions" lives and they hurt others to find happiness for themselves which was beyond selfish however, battles were fought within themselves too, and nobody took the time to realize.

In was starting to snow and she could see the flakes falling fast from the orange glow that was beginning to rise in the sky. This was the time of year that always reminded her of when things really took off. Scarves being thrown around one another while meandering down the snowy streets. The cold, winter weather didn't matter. It was always warm in the beds as well as their hearts, just how they liked it.

She set her coffee cup on the counter before climbing the stairs and crawling back into bed to cuddle with the man next to her, hoping she'd find the man she fell in love with deep down under the sheets somewhere.