Love: We can't give it if we do not have it



Unconditional love is a term that means to love someone regardless of the loved one's qualities or actions. The paradigm of unconditional love is a mother's love for her newborn.

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Unconditional love is often used to describe the love in an idealized romantic relationship. It may sometimes also be used to describe love between family members, comrades in arms and between others in highly committed relationships.

When the word "happiness" is used, it is not meant by the fleeting pleasure we get from money, sex, & unconditional approval. Nor does it mean the belief or even relief we experience during the temporary absence of conflict of disaster. Real happiness is not the feeling we get from being entertained or making people do what we want. Genuine happiness is a profound and lasting sense of peace and fulfillment that deeply satisfies and enlarges the soul. It doesn't go away when circumstances get difficult. It survives and even grows through hardship and struggle. True happiness is our entire reason to live and that kind of happiness can only be obtained as we find real love and share it with others.

"With real love, nothing else matters; without it, nothing else is enough."



It simply does not matter how smart or pretty or successful you are. You don't have to do anything to impress those that unconditionally love you or get them to even like you. They don't care if you say something stupid or make a mistake. It eventually occurs to you that it's impossible to be embarassed or ashamed-they love you no matter what. That is undconditonal love.

We are made by love, we are made of love, and we are made for love!

I believe the very first instance of unconditional love it at the time of birth. Both parents and newborn receive an overpowering sense of love. Parents are in shock in awe and over-taken by a sense of relief. So patiently they await the arrival of the baby. Upon first glance, it's love.

While baby gets to snuggly envelope in the womb, feel the vibration and beat of the heart from within, hear the voices from the distant outerspace unknown world they also await upon and then they are welcomed into a world where familiar sounds and smells will greet them with open, loving arms.

---True, Complete Unconditional Love---



"Unconditional Love is love for no reason. It is linked to your heart (in your heart) and doesn't depend on (is not directly linked) the object of your love. It's there for you to share." ---Marci Shimoff

Unconditonal Love can come in so many forms and be the definition of many relationships in our lives. It could be the feeling you hold in your heart for your child(ren), your spouse, your parents, your family, your friends. It's easier to have the relationships in your life full of love if you, yourself is filled with love.

Our hate is love turned sour, our jealousy is love turned bitter, our fears are love standing upside down, our greed is love gone overboard, and attachment is love gone sticky.

Find the love within and all other will fall into place. Write yourself inspirational post-its and hang them around your environment. Perhaps place one next to the alarm clock so it's the first thing you see in the morning when you wake up. Place "you are loved" on the mirror in the bathroom so you are reassured that the love you feel inside reflects on the outside to those around you. Anything you can do: meditation, nature walks, praying with your children. Bring happiness into your heart where love can live and lead you down your path.





ReAl EsTaTe ReNdEvOuS

It has taken a tremendous amount of time to get here. I am not certain what took me so long or why I have hestitated for so many years. I often come up with excuses to put off doing almost anything. Regardless of my skills or education regarding certain subjects, my confidence is often overbearing and riquochets thoughts through my brain, always doubting my true abilities.

Dating back as long as I can remember, most kids in elementary school were getting letters from the teachers sent home for passing notes or even riff raff taking place during recess. Neatly written (all elementary teachers have great penmanship. I always took notice of this. It's like one of the classes they have to pass in order to get the degree) and slipped into the backpack to warn parents that their children aren't living up to their end of the bargain.

I, on the other hand, didn't get letters for passing notes (I never got caught) however, I couldn't stop my mind from wandering. But in my mind: floorplans. I would come home with that note in my denim backpack with keychains and charms hanging from every possible corner of fabric and filled with Trapper Keepers (to store all my notes passed in class).

It all started with Mrs. Nelson. She was my absolute favorite white haired teacher with pearls adorning her neck and floral prints from head to toe. She usually smelled of gingerbread and I often fantasized that she worked with Santa Claus, if she was not in fact actually married to the jolly man himself. Growing up in a small town, we knew where everyone lived. Her house was white as snow, built of brick with a bright red door and black shutters. It just screamed North Pole.

She was a pleasant old lady and even after graduating from the 2nd grade and moving forward in my education, I often went there during the mornings to visit, apple in hand and a smile on my face. She knew all my secrets. Sunken great rooms, open atrium foyers filled with antique rosewood furniture upholstered with red velvet cushions and the greenest of plants that the owner of any house would be proud to brag about, hanging from vintage hooks by macrame in a rusty orange color that reminded me of my childhood.

I am not certain why this memory stuck with me. I wasn't born in the 70s, nor lived through any of the years that macrame was in fashion. I don't remember actually ever seeing it in my entire life. I just imagined this fabric, woven together and I could describe to you the texture and smell as though I was dressed in it from head to toe like some sort of a hippie flower child.

Not me (or of any relation)---but possibly could be :)

Granted, at this time of my life, I didn't know that actual names of such things ie: sunken living rooms, atrium foyers, macrame. This was the time of "Ice Ice Baby" and Barbie Dolls. I didn't know that such things had been thought up and created by masterminds decades (or even centuries) before. I was, by my own definition, an absolute genius.

My father, whom I assume I get this quality from, is also very interested in my same tastes. He differs in the aspect of his ruggedness, which I am not so much in tune with the wild within me. You can find him in some small quaint cottage made of cedar filled with treasures that he collected from his travels while scooting across the country on a motorcycle when the idea of wearing a helmet wouldn't possibly exist, when rebellious men had Pert Plus hair that waved in the wind while "Bad to the Bone" played in their heads down the open highway. He grows goatees, smokes from a wooden pipe that I am certain he received from Moses once upon a time on a fishing trip where they told jokes and laughed about the "good ol' days."

My style is eclectic. I love anything with good structure and form, solid bones. I find as I get older I take such pride in older things *cough* that some might refer to as antiques. Nah. I appreciate the quality, the time it took for the man carving the wood to complete. His rough hands smoothing over anything with sandpaper and then staining the masterpiece for what seems only my eyes to flicker with appreciation. Now: such said "furniture" and even "houses" are built with assembly lines. Just set the sides together and find something ANYTHING you can get your hands on to make those pieces stand up together. Doesn't matter how long, so long as it gets sold, then its the owners obligation. *wiping my hands, freeing them of the "hardwork" that I wish was actually done*

I live for arts & crafts. It's like a melody that floats through my blood stream and keeps a bit of a skip in my step. Battered columns, beveled glass in built-in bookcases, ceramic tile fireplaces and hearths with built-in banquets that you could just imagine a family playing games or reading books around on cold winter nights. And possibly my favorite: amber laterns. I think that amber glow that reflects off the warm wood and fills the home with a romantic ambiance is just so special and lacking in todays flourescent filled boxes we call rooms.



Seriously?!?! Need I say more?!?! Why don't we build like this anymore? Why not take PRIDE in the things that are being manufactured for our lifestyles? I mean, c'mon. Nowadays while instructing friends on the exact location of your new place, the one you took a small fortune loan out on to help finance, the one you imagine your kids growing up in, thinking back years and years later when they have children of their own, collaborating all their memories into a photo album or slideshow playing images of their childhood in this spectacular house they were so lucky to call home for so long.

The house you want to move into while still young enough to chase the kids up and down the stairs and move out of when arthritis has set in as empty nesters and you can't barely get out of bed without some sort of support. The house you took time to plant the trees on Arbor Day with the kids and you have progressively watched as they turned into massive maples that shades the entire yard, making dinners in the hot summer sun relaxing and pleasant while enjoying the breeze that whistles through the leaves like an old train making its way down the track and onto its next destination.

We are building memories, lasting memories here. And yet: "Come over for dinner friends. We are the 12th beige house on the left. You might want to pay attention to the number hanging outside our door. Its like a corn maze in this place."

No distinctive oak tree or rose bush yet, no trees or shrubbery at all for that matter. Pshh...greenery?! Who needs it. Our house is beige for crying out loud! What more could you ask for? And no shutters or houses painted green or a mustard color with white trim. Here: we have convenants and they don't allow being original.

And again, 3 floorplans so you can you can be almost certain that you and your direct neighbor do not have the exact layout. Phew! Only you and the guy 2 houses down, and across the street, and behind you, and 2 doors down from him, and the guy 2 doors down from him.

And the insides? We take no bragging rights for these boxes that couldn't possibly be assembled better than the biggest Star Wars Lego apparatus known to man by our 7 year old spectacle wearing whiz kid that even has the brain to GLUE the pieces together to withstand the test of time. I shouldn't knock the homes (they might fall over) in all actuality. Given the economy today and the way Omaha builders are "building" nowadays, this is most likely where we will end up. Cracked foundation because they build them at such a fast pace they don't give the dirt the time to adjust or settle. Brand new house, cracked foundation. Sounds just lovely.

Anyhow...I have lots of ideas. I have images of greater times in the past and even stronger times in the future. A time when we didn't appreciate picking our houses out of a catalog like we are ordering an answering machine from the Finger Hut catalog.



Meanwhile, as I am enrolled in real estate school, I take a good look at the text I am to study and learn and get tested on. I do my work diligently and am so very excited to get out there and see what I can do. I want to place families, couples, singles, whoever into someplace that fits them as well as they fit there. Someplace that they can come after a long day at work, take off their shoes, pour themselves a drink to wash away the worries of the day, and kick their feet up and be proud to call the place home. (Even if it is the 9th beige house on the right) :) It's all in what you make it anyhow.

A house is not a home until it is filled with happiness and love.

So? In conclusion, I am so extremely excited about this new endeavor. Although the economy is not where it once was, I have total faith that with compassion and a little hard work, anything is possible. I look forward to making a living doing what I love.





~The New Family Dynamic~

The family structure today has changed more in the past 30 years than at any other time in history. Gone is the tradional family unit where the father works, the mother takes care of the home and children (although personally I am working to bring this aspect back into play), the kids obediently toil at school until they leave the nest soon after adolescence. And it hasn't been replaced by another basic structure-instead, families now come in a variety of combinations that pose new challenges to parents and children alike.

Today, almost 50 percent of parents are single. Often, both mother and father will commit to co-parenting, with the children spending periods of time with each. Although it's certainly not the perfect solution, children do adapt when they know that they're loved by both parents; and also step (parents and siblings).

Obviously, divorce has played a significant role in the development of "the new family." But there are variations to even the divorced/single-parent style of modern parenting. Many woman whose biological clock is ticking away are now deciding to go ahead and have a child without the support of a partner at all.

And then we have "patchwork families" - or "blended families."

blend·ed family (blĕnˈdĭd): a social unit consisting of two previously married parents and the children of their former marriages; A stepfamily.
 
Patchwork and/or blended families, where stepchildren and half-siblings come together to create a new family unit. Keeping the continuity of family is difficult in these situations, but crucial for the stability of the children.
 
Because of all these changes, the pscyhology of the family is venturing into new and unknown territory. However, the basic challenge remains the same: how best to raise a healthy, happy child. There are lots of theories out there, but there are no hard and fast rules, except to use your best judgment possible and treat your entire family-children, stepchildren, parents, and partners-with love, respect, understanding, and kindness.
 





~~~Spring is in the Air~~~

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Has winter abandoned us? This voice not coming from a sad place inside but a place long remembering and longing for open-toed wedge slingbacks and short summer dresses (perhaps paired with a wide brim hat and excessively large sunglasses). Hanging halfway out the window of the car, sunroof open and reflecing rays upon the natural highlights rooting from the season, singing loud and smiling. It seems everyone is happier when it's sunnier. Is it the sun that controls our mood entirely?



Did winter pack it's bags and head to the south for some fun in the sun? A long sought after vacation it just so happened to get a steal on with priceline.com? I've been having that feeling all winter long. The feeling of escaping, getting away, heading for warmer weather regardless of where. Just take me there!!

We haven't had it tough. It's been a fairly mild winter and we must consider ourselves lucky. I mean Nebraska winters are NEVER any fun, let's be honest. I believe it's also a combination that clashes with our age. When we were younger, and as I see the kids playing in the snow and not minding the chill whatsoever. However, I am shaking to the core and my bones are frozen solid. I feel I wasn't this bad when I was younger. I could build snowmen with the rest of 'em and go in to warm up to a hot cup of chocolate (with marshmallows of course). It now takes me days to warm up...suddzy hot bubble baths included.



However, is this the end of the cold and the beginning of breezy and sunny days ahead? Shall we pack up the coats and winter attire and get ready for the SPF and bathing suits? I am just not QUITE convinced yet.

What do you think?

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~Remember me?!?!~

Ta da... tis me :) Back and better than ever. My apologies for neglecting all the (un)wasted thoughts that float about me. I haven't had much time to compose myself enough to get a solid thought completed thoroughly enough to follow it through. Just one more thing I have started and not finished huh? Lol. 


~Tsk tsk Ashley. Tsk Tsk~

Meanwhile...Sooo many new & extremely exciting things have occurred and basically I don't even know where to begin. It's difficult to put into perspective (even for myself and it happened to me) the amount of things that happen in such a short period of time. And with Dimitri and I, that is no surprise. We are known as being extremists in our own definition.


First and foremost...
We are combined to an eternal life together, for richer or poorer, till death do us part. We are married!!! :) Its all so exciting. Finally we have closed the door on all the biased opinions that were peering in on relationship with a magnified glass. We have always been a team and our love is deeper and more complex than the oceans that make up and cover this world. It was just bound to happen and it did and I continually count my lucky stars for having such an amazing husband by my side. Its like being a part of a winning team and hitting home-runs to boot ;)

Since then we have been moving steadily along (side by side of course) with a solid sense of security and guidance for one another. 


It's been absolutely amazing (for lack of a better phrase)


Then....(as if that is not exciting enough)

we heard news of our newest addition that will gracing this world with its presence around the 24th of August xxxxxxx


How absolutely amazing and blessed I am to have all these things happening just like they are supposed to. Everyday I take a good look around at what has been given to me and I smile with pride. Its gratifying to know that I may not have my professional affairs in tack, I may not have the slightest clue in regards to what I want to do when I grow up or the exact path to take in order to get where I want to be. 


However, sitting here, reflecting, studying, smiling, enjoying my life to the fullest in regards to personal aspects of my life, knowing that things are finally going as I had planned is so extremely satisfying and gratifying that I know that the rest will all play out how it is supposed to in the end. 


For that, I am continually thankful and feel fully blessed. 


I have missed writing and will do my absolute best to keep everything updated (for peace of mind). No thoughts should go (un)wasted. 


Until next time....